You Don't Know Me.

Could this dark, lonely, aching feeling, really be filled by love? Or would this gaping hole of regretfulness just dig its way deeper? Sometimes I wonder if I ever will find that ‘someone’, that certain someone who will respect, and love me just for me. I would be enough for them.. Their one and only. Then I start to think about it, and instead of wondering I get into the reality. The reality of the fact, that this certain someone doesn’t exist, and if they did exist, would I have to search for them? And being my stubborn self, would I even want to search for them? Would it be worth it? Or would it just end up being another tragic mess? Then I get further into reality and think of why I haven’t yet found this certain someone that might exist. Is it my stubbornness, is it a major turn off? Is it my imaturity, do I goof around too much? Is it the fact that they secretly know that I hate myself? Because.. as they say, how can you be loved, if you can’t even love yourself? But maybe my situation is different, maybe I need to be loved in order for me to love myself. Maybe I just need that certain someone to show me that i’m worth while. And then maybe I would open up to myself and learn to atleast accept me. But again.. Maybe it’s all a myth, maybe there isn’t that certain someone for everyone. Maybe i’m just a person that was born to die, just a person to live life without another. Or maybe it’s just the fact that i’m too stubborn to realize anything differently. Who’s to say?

Anonymous asked: Do you have big feat?

Lmfao Livvie. Oh yes, they are enormous. ;|

  Do you ever have that feeling, when you feel like you know everyone in the world, but at the same time you have no one? When I say have no one I mean you have no one to trust, to tell all your secrets to, or just talk about in depth situations. Something beyond laughing matters. 

  Yes, I am a goofy person I like to be outgoing, and crazy and laugh uncontrollably, but I am much more to that. Just because I goof around does not mean I don’t take things seriously or that you can walk all over me, or think that I won’t catch on to the lies you throw out. I might not be able to spell and I might be gullible but I am not this stupid person people make me out to be. I have a brain and I’m always using it.

   I may think differently than you do, but that doesn’t mean I’m any different from you. I have feelings I get sad, mad, happy, confused, and I can feel pain. When my heart breaks I cry, when I do regretful things I am ashamed. I do things for a reason, and I usually mean what I say. I admit in ways I am messed up, but not mentally ill. I have flaws, I break things, I fall, I’m clumsy, and I have done regretful things in my life, but my flaws do not define me. I do not lie and I have never cheated.

  I belive that a little goes a long way, less is more, and great things do not come easy. I’m made out to be this difficult, complex, or complicated person. Maybe it would be easier to get to know me if someone knew how to trust, listen, or even keep a secret.. to the things that are hard for me to say.

 Everybody always assumes things. Just because you think something, doesn’t actually mean you know it. THINKING and KNOWING are two totally different things. Seriously people.. grow some common sense and don’t assume the obvious. There are situations where they are deeper than their surfaces.